Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Customisation of personalities

Before I get started on tonight's edition of the pearls of wisdom - this new template designer on Blogger is awesome! :-)

Now. To my post. I've made certain observations recently about people. It's almost always about people when your primary occupation, no matter what your visiting card says, is people watching. Aping. It's the age-old technique of the human race in order to pass on the message of obeisance. When an aper sees the one he wants to ape aka the apee (ok, but I'm trying to pass of as being smart here thank you!) the aper goes through a process we will call hero worship. Walk around kissing the apee's feet and licking the apee's ass and so on. I don't want to be crude, but the whole process kinda grosses me out, so I'm just going to go with the unpleasantness here. So, aper is in love. Hearts are flying around and so on that's when the changes begin to happen...

These changes are subtle. You won't even notice that they are happening. This is because the aper and the apee are in such close proximity that one just flows into the other coagulating into one blob of gag-inducing, green-coloured, thick, viscous, projectile, via mouth excrement! In such close proximity, the possibility of differentiating the aper and apee is so hard that you begin to confuse the two. After this intense mating is the seperation. That's when shapes become distinguishable, although the nature of the projectile is still the same. As these shapes become distinguishable, you begin to see that the aper is the same person, but not quite the same. There are subtle changes in person, clothing style, intonation and attitude. So much so, that one would not be mistaken in thinking that the aper is somehow a transmogrified apee.

At this point, ideally, you should have only one reaction - this. A person who is incapable of having a personality based on personal experiences and individual growth does not merit the tag of being part of a civilised ordered society and other such -ness. If you ever encounter such a person and don't want to be indifferent you could try to do the following instead - do a shot o Tequila (alcohol is just theatrics, but awesomeness comes from an element of drama, never forget that), turn around, flip that shit the bird and walk!

Love and regards,
Sh

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Opinions

Blocking people. Such a nice and honest way to tell another person that you* are no longer wanted in their immediate vicinity no? I mean, thanks to technology and apps, we've become ruder. You can block people on messenger, on social networking websites, on the phone and now, as I recently discovered, in the blogosphere too. Did you know that Blogger has an option where your blog can be by invitation only? I didn't. Until Friday that is.
My thoughts? Why waste internet space if you don't have the balls to let the world know what you're thinking? Why keep a "personal" blog in the blogosphere only to make it "by invitation"? How non-common-sensical is that? It's like saying - I have a point of view but I don't want some people to know that I do. If Big Brother was watching you, I'd get the point. However, when the medium of expression is this public a certain sense of nonchalance is only expected? Who cares who's getting offended right?
But the other side is this - Everyone is free to do what they like to. If they want exclusive niche blogs that only 5 people read then alright I guess. If I want to stand the risk of allowing every single internet user to see what I'm thinking then it's a risk I'm taking. I'm no raconteur nor am I a critic of social mores or any of the more important roles that some bloggers assume, but I can safely say that if I'm here, it is because I want to see and be seen. Not because I want to be a wallflower.
What was that theory that the online space gives every person the relative anonymity to acquire a different personality when "communicating" with other faceless people from across the world. If you are going to give yourself a certain image of being this infallible self then should you choose to keep it intact by making your infallibility the subject of conversation of a select few or let the world decide see it too?
I keep thinking that when a person decides to go online, the privacy of snail mail and landline telephones go straight out the window. Personal space and privacy are no longer sacrosanct. They are relative terms. If I'm able to make my Facebook profile really hard to access, I can only stop strangers not friends who could, in all likelihood be judging me...
This privacy thing is a hard line to toe. I do, however, still stand by my theory that if it's blog, then please have the balls to have an opinion, more importantly an open and honest opinion. If you want only a select few praise giving types to egg you on then your megalomania is a bit much...

(*The "you" in this post is used generically and does not refer to a specific person. If someone thinks this post is about them, I have nothing to say to them except - GET OVER YOURSELF!)

5 sentences

I'm thinking break-ups today. Not sure why. I want to think of less serious things. But I blame the rain. Damn weather puts ideas in my brain that is otherwise in the happy pursuit of shallowness.

Stupid effing weather!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Language, linguistics and me

I was 18 and a 1/2 then. The year 2003. Two years of the study of a subject that I thought I'd ace had left me as disillusioned as they come. I mean, who opts for BA Literature thinking that they're scientific and important enough to change the world and offer the world something profound and altering? In college, I discovered things like being 'spaced out'. I discovered 'depression'. I discovered that boys were significant enough to us for us to be discussing them. I also discovered this gem of a genre call post-colonial literature.
It was the final year, and we were waiting for another semester of new subjects when someone walked in with post-colonial literature. My friend Seema and I were already planning our trip to Higginbothams to block copies of our texts before anyone else got their hands on them. After books were blocked, we had to give our parents estimates of how much the whole exercise would cost them and go out and buy those books the next day and cover them in wrapping paper (ok, I did!) and get to reading the book in the middle of a boring lecture. It was in those pages and photocopied pages that I discovered the stories of love for the land. A love that was not about eyes meeting across a room and some fantasy shit. A love that had a lot more to do with identity than anything else. I was suddenly in a world that I understood and I empathised with. But here's what amazed me, these people were talking of an identity in translation. Not one single of those texts were nuanced in vernacular, but in English. That's what got me. How could it be that the language of another can be made your own in such a basic way.
This thing about language has worried me no end. I mean, I write in English, but technically, I'm a malayali. In a perfect world, I should be running around spouting literary malayalam in every context that requires that I express myself a little intelligently. However, that is not the case here. I'm talking, showing off to a large extent, in a language that is not mine. I'm addicted to throwing big words in a text message to prove a point. I get a kick out of being able to make sense in a fashion that sounds comprehensible but requires a second hearing. I love word play, but it all happens in English. It's not mine. Should it be? Can it be? Will it become the language of generations after me?
Language is important. Case in point is the World Classical Tamil Conference happening in Coimbatore. Why would there be so much hype over a language. What is it to people? Why is it to people? Can I, a malayali by ethnicity, at some point in time adopt a language that is not mine, technically? Should I be trying to learn a language that I may not have future use for, just for the sake of identity? Does language really make me? Are adjective becoming more and more customised? How in the hell am I asking so many questions and not offering any answers. This is one of the few things that I contemplate on a day like today. :-|



Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Issues and things

Self-esteem. It's such a vital thing to a person no? I mean, you think you have it all until someone brings you down on terra firma and suddenly you're all over the place. One word of criticism can take the wind out of your sails and you find that you're not everything you thought you are. What do you do then? Cry? Cower? Or face the music and do what it takes to not get bogged down?
Crying and cowering are options if you take criticism personally. I remember a time when people calling me fat had me think things that ranged from 'I'm friendless in the world' to 'I'm ugly'. I'm neither of the above, and yet, a snarky comment or a cold-ish tone of voice will set my antennae on red alert. I can't help it. These are fat kid insecurities that never go away however pretty you get. And no, it's not like I'm pretty, I'm just drop dead gorgeous! *rolls eyes* So, moving on to the deep and meaningful profoundity that is ensconed in this rant about myself. I find that I'm in a place where I wonder if I should even be doing what I'm doing. I'm enjoying it, but there's some chemical X that's missing from this mix. I'm not a powerpuff girl. I want to be one, but something I'm doing, or not, is not helping my ascent to superstardom.
I think I'd rather go some place where I can ascend to superstardom. I don't want to be in this routine for the next five years only to get the same feedback and the same dejected 'shit, this one could be awesome but she's not capitalising on her inherent awesomeness'. Not sure what to make of this whole thing anyway. It's a thought. Not a pleasant one, but a thought nonetheless.

In other headlines - my earworm for this week has been - Brighter than Sunshine.