Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Since 2006

Once upon a time, I used to address my life online with the moniker "Lizzie Borden". For those of you in the know, wondering why on earth I chose an ax murderer to talk about my life, I played Lizzie Borden in a play.





Those days, I posted everything on my blog. From life stories, to poetry to the things I wrote.

Then I decided to branch off and have separate blogs for my fiction and my personal journal. And wouldn't you know it, the journal got filled up faster than I could churn out my work articles!

I shut down the Lizzie Borden blog and the email ID it was linked to. In 2008, I created my current email ID and in 2009 December The Shh Diaries were born. Somehow, writing here about the things that I think about and the things that matter to me seems easier. And initially, like all bloggers I wanted an active comments section.

I stopped worrying about it all, though. I didn't want an active comments section. Not after that "Open Letter to a Delhi Boy" went viral and that girl apparently got all manner of indecencies thrown at her. I was glad for this corner of the internet where I could peacefully write about my life and hate on people I disliked and went my way to do my thing. The occasional comment would pop-up and make me happy and I would engage with the person who left a message here, but otherwise things have been mostly quiet.

These days, I've been posting on Google+ and Twitter about any new posts on the blog, hoping that this time around the things I want to share will be read by people and they would leave a comment about it. Not happening. That's when I remembered that this blogging format is pretty dead. The blogs that are being followed either need a viral post to become famous or be helmed by a famous person or just be hella more interesting than my musings about everything.

The quiet out here makes me think about other things, though. What if my book does get finished and get published? And as an aftermath, in the quest to get to know me better, people troll this blog and pick up something and go online with it and say "Shruthi Padmanabhan's views on feminism will shock you" or something and a damn hate campaign takes off? This is usually the point where my rational self steps in and corrects my emotional self. The thoughts I've put online are not thoughts I'm ashamed of. They're not things I would never say in person to the people I know. I've been known to say and do far worse than I let on online.

As I read more and more about the death and temporary resurgence of longform, I wonder how much longer I'm going to keep this blog active. Because honestly, without this space, I wouldn't have any place to try out my experimental sentence structures and tampering with vocabulary. Maybe it is time to get back to that unfinished masterpiece after all!


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